[Bren lingered in the silence, breath held and heartbeat stilled as he waited to see what Essek's reaction would be. Those fingers through his hair were soothing, and the drow had not yet pulled away or stood from his lap. Bren would cling to that reassurance as long as he could. Eyes wide and watching, waiting for the emotional blow to come.
And it never came. Instead those fingers continued their soft, soothing touch. Instead Essek called him by the familiar endearment.
Bren tightened his arms around Essek's waist, clinging to him now that it seemed there was no danger of Essek fleeing from his touch. He released the held breath in a sigh of relief, like a weight he had been carrying this entire time suddenly fractured and fell away.]
He told me again and again that vampires were to be feared, that they would kill me on sight, the moment they knew what I was. I was terrified. That I should kill them first. Then you found me, and I have never been afraid with you.
[Except that he was afraid of this secret, of it driving his lover away. That had clearly been Trent's intent. He was quiet a moment as he considered the question.]
Ikithon took me years ago. That first full moon, he left me to his wolves. At the time I thought he meant to have me torn apart. I am not entirely certain how I survived, but I did. The moon after that I changed for the first time. I lost myself entirely. I do not remember much of it. It took... too many months for me to gain any sort of control during the transformation. I can control it now. I am myself under the moonlight, in the shape of the wolf. I could not control it when he brought my parents to me for my second moon. I was covered in their blood when the sun rose.
[His voice had gone quiet, and his gaze had fallen away from Essek's, as he confessed all of this as if the drow could somehow offer him the absolution that he knew he did not deserve. There would be no forgiveness for him, for the things that he had done.]
Several moons after that I was given as a mate to two of his wolves, a forced imprinting that I know now did not take. I did not know what a true mate was until I met you and my heart awoke for the first time. And I was frightened of what this secret would do, if you would think me an abomination.
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2023-06-28 02:00 am (UTC)And it never came. Instead those fingers continued their soft, soothing touch. Instead Essek called him by the familiar endearment.
Bren tightened his arms around Essek's waist, clinging to him now that it seemed there was no danger of Essek fleeing from his touch. He released the held breath in a sigh of relief, like a weight he had been carrying this entire time suddenly fractured and fell away.]
He told me again and again that vampires were to be feared, that they would kill me on sight, the moment they knew what I was. I was terrified. That I should kill them first. Then you found me, and I have never been afraid with you.
[Except that he was afraid of this secret, of it driving his lover away. That had clearly been Trent's intent. He was quiet a moment as he considered the question.]
Ikithon took me years ago. That first full moon, he left me to his wolves. At the time I thought he meant to have me torn apart. I am not entirely certain how I survived, but I did. The moon after that I changed for the first time. I lost myself entirely. I do not remember much of it. It took... too many months for me to gain any sort of control during the transformation. I can control it now. I am myself under the moonlight, in the shape of the wolf. I could not control it when he brought my parents to me for my second moon. I was covered in their blood when the sun rose.
[His voice had gone quiet, and his gaze had fallen away from Essek's, as he confessed all of this as if the drow could somehow offer him the absolution that he knew he did not deserve. There would be no forgiveness for him, for the things that he had done.]
Several moons after that I was given as a mate to two of his wolves, a forced imprinting that I know now did not take. I did not know what a true mate was until I met you and my heart awoke for the first time. And I was frightened of what this secret would do, if you would think me an abomination.