for Essek (lacrymaperle) - vampire/werewolf au

[ausgebrannt]

[There had been a simpler time, several years before when Bren hadn't yet known Trent Ikithon, a time when he was thoroughly and blissfully unaware of the things that existed in the dark, when the ideas of werewolves and vampires and other creatures that ought to have been nothing more than fairy tale fodder. Instead, his paths had crossed with Trent and everything had changed. He'd been thrown into a small walled courtyard one night, under the light of a full moon, and he had not been alone. That was the first time he had met a werewolf. Bren remembered the bite, still had the scar of it on one forearm, remembered the confusion and the terror -- both of which were nothing compared to the full moon that followed the month after, the first time he'd transformed. He remembered the pain of his entire body breaking and reshaping itself, the fear of losing himself entirely. He'd blacked out that night, woken up naked and aching as if he'd been run over by a bus.

It had been the same very moon since, except that piece by piece, bit by bit, he held onto some small shred of himself during the transformation. Trent Ikithon had explained that all this was for Bren's own good, that he was safer here than anywhere else. that there were vampires who would tear him apart on sight, one in particular, a singular monster who Trent seemed to have a personal loathing for. Bren tried to probe why any vampire, never mind a particular one, would have any interest in him. No explanation was ever given except that 'the Shadowhand will never have you. Not in this life or the next. I will see to that.'

Bren had no idea what that meant. Before all this, the only strange thing in his life were recurring dreams -- and oh they were beautiful things. Arms that were secure and safe around him, tender and gentle but not warm. The soft lilt of a voice that assured him everything would be well, that wherever he went he would be found again. Trent had hated the dreams and had done his best to cast them out of Bren's conscious awareness. Now they were barely shadows, things he could remember the feeling of more than the details. It hurt even trying to recall them, so he didn't.

This past moon Bren had made his escape after he transformed, finally aware enough of himself that he had his chance. He was free. That was the only thought in his mind right now and it repeated in echoed mantra over and over again as he tried to keep himself from spiraling into a breakdown. It had been years since he'd been out, actually out in the world, not kept with Trent Ikithon's control, trapped within the grounds of that monster's manor. He was, after all, Trent's pet project, for whatever reasons the old bastard had. It didn't matter. Back in that direction lay only pain and isolation. He wouldn't go back.

Of course, he didn't really have a plan to go forward either, really. Even before he'd been captured and turned, he hadn't had any family left, few friends, and he'd been out of the world for years now. He managed to steal find some clothes, ill-fitting, a coat that was too big on his underfed frame, a scarf wrapped about his neck. He was a mess, long copper hair in tangles past his shoulders, his beard untrimmed, a frantic fear in wide blue eyes as he tried to find somewhere to hide, somewhere to get his bearings. He couldn't let Trent find him again. This was freedom, and he would not give it up.

A soft meow caught his attention, and he looked up in surprise as a small orange tabby approached him. For the first time in a long while, Bren smiled.] Hello there... [The little creature sniffed his outstretched hand and headbutted his fingers. It was the first kind touch that he'd known in so long, he almost teared up over it.] Well, at least I am not alone anymore. That's comforting.

[Now if he could just figure out what the hell he was going to do, where he was going to go.]

Comments

[zauberdecke]

[ No, Essek could not read minds-- if he could, there would've been a flush at the thoughts of Bren thinking that he was lovely, would've coloured and then likely have fled the room. Though really, Essek was likely about ready to do that anyways. As much as he wanted to see the man strip down so that he could assess the damage, he also knew that the malnutrition would've made him impossibly angry. He did not really want to be furious right now, not when he was going to shave Bren after the bath. ]

Call for me once you are ready for your shave, I will be in the other room if you need anything else while you bathe.

[ He licked his lower lip hastily and then he walked out with a brisk pace-- uncertain of what he was going to do in the chair while he listened to Bren splish splash in the tub merrily. (well okay, not so merrily-- right now there was nothing joyful about the sad melancholy man with the eyes that had seen too much pain for Essek's comfort)

It may have seen like he was getting out of there like a bat out of the nine hells, but really it was Essek knowing that his heart could only take too much. He knew he'd feel better when Bren was clean and at least looked like he was on the road to being taken care of ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Merrily was probably not the right word, but gods was there something quite close to ecstasy about the idea of a real, hot bath. Bren stripped out of his clothes, folding them despite the fact that they in no way deserved folding, and set them aside. He approached the tub -- the large, frankly luxurious tub, even as old fashioned as it was -- and climbed into the water.

He was unable to stifle a full on groan as he sank into the hot water. This was what heaven felt like, wasn't it? For a long moment he simply sank down to his neck, eyes shut as he enjoyed the feeling of that heat sinking into his bones. Then he turned his attention to washing, another sound this time relieved as he worked shampoo through his hair, washed the accumulated sweat and dirt from his skin.

He could have lingered forever in the water, but he knew his host was waiting to assist him with shaving.

Out of the tub and into a towel, he spared a few minutes to look at himself in the mirror, frowning at his reflection. Now that the dirt was gone, his pale freckle-splashed skin was visible. He'd washed years off himself. He was still a young man -- too thin and sporting too many bruises, too many wounds in various stages of healing -- but still somehow able-bodied.

Even wet his hair seemed lighter, the burnished copper color brighter already, beginning to dry in waves that fell just past his shoulders. Once he'd had a shave, Essek would find that reincarnation had made a perfect copy of his late lover in Bren, and his soul too had been fashioned to remember to find his way to Essek once more before Trent had got his claws into him.

He took a moment to peek into a cabinet, relieved to see a roll of bandages. He wound these carefully around his forearm, hiding away the long-healed scar of the bite that had turned him into a monster. That done, he tugged on the robe that had been left, belting it securely before peeking his head out the door.]

Lord Thelyss?

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek perched on the wing chair once again and closed his eyes as he soaked in the sounds of bathing, his mind bring to recall moments where they had bathed together in that same tub, sharing in the job of getting each other clean. How many books had they dragged into the tub with each other to read but then became distracted with other things? Oh such a simpler time, uncomplicated and precious between him and his husband.

Finally he had to get up when he heard a groan of pleasure. He had to walk to the closet and throw it open so that he could take out a simple tunic that smelled of ink, incensed parchment and autumn woodsmoke. A pair of sleep trousers made of fine linen was also taken out, all of these may not fit snugly but he knew they would fit fairly well-- with his husband and Bren being of similar form.

Of course they were.

At the sound of his title, he laid the garmets on the counterpane of the bed and he hurried down the dias... and promptly stopped in his tracks, nearly graveless as bountiful clean copper waves swirled by his vision, no longer scented like hot trash, but cloves and oranges. A gaunt face peered at him, but no longer marked with dirt and grime, and those freckles-- freckles like his lover's. Freckles that he could've spent hours kissing and laying maps by. ]

Well, what a difference a bath makes, and you actually smell nice.

[ he said this falteringly, for a moment wanting to say so much more but thinking better of it. This was Bren, not Caleb; this man was his own being, could make his own choices. This did not mean that he was entitled to the orbit of this beautiful red-gold sun that stood meekly before him ]

You will pass for even more pf a human when we do something with that beard.

[ Essek scurried into the bathroom then and moved to the counter and then he pushed himself to sit up on it while he motioned for Bren to stand before him. His fingers trembled only a tiny bit, but he would compose himself. ]

I suppose you are clean enough that I will let you near. [ how gracious of him ] Now tell me how you want me to style this thing? Do you want a trim or it all off?

[ausgebrannt]

[If Bren noticed the way that his host stopped short, he didn't say anything about it. Instead he waited in the doorway of the bathroom, unable to stop a smile from finding its way over his features, tentative but genuine.]

I feel almost human.

[Almost. But never completely human, never again. He was a monster, cursed and broken for reasons he did not entirely understand. Somewhere inside him, caged deep within his soul, that hidden part of himself, a man that he had been, was still and would be again, waiting to be remembered. Already that ghost of Caleb had been able to point the very compass of his soul towards this beautiful drown. Bren looked pleased at being told he smelled nice. That was an improvement.

He slipped into the bathroom, and only hesitated a moment -- fighting a flush of heat that wanted to rise in his cheeks and dust them in crimson -- before moving closer to Essek, standing in front of him and looking up to him.]

I think clean shaven would be nice. It has been a long while since I have been. [And his beard would start reappearing in short order, and he could see about taking care of it as it grew in this time.]

[zauberdecke]

[ When Bren approach and obediently stood before him, it was the first time since underneath moonlight that he was able to see those eyes, those gorgeous eyes once again. Eyes that he could verily become lost within if given the chance to do so-- they were so startlingly similar, so beautiful and wonderful-- he could fall in love with them all over again if given but the opportunity.

Best to focus on the task at hand, he reached to pick up the cup with lather and then he applied it to a beard that was still wet, letting the brush cover it all. Essek's diligence was precise but also gentle, their only point of contact for right now was brush to beard and perhaps the gentle touch of his booted foot against the robe just above thigh in a strange half touch ]

I cannot fault that at all, if we get rid of it all then you can start anew, yes?

[ the scent of plums, jasmine and crisp winter air, that was Essek's scent and mingled pleasantly with the autumn library warmth of Bren's ]

I have to admit, I will enjoy shearing you.

[ausgebrannt]

[This close, Bren could tell that Essek Thelyss smelled amazing, and his mind supplied the very helpful thought that he smelled like coming home. And oh he did. Something in Bren ached sharply, and it took all his willpower -- which honestly had been so sharply tried today -- to keep from moving in even closer, winding his arms around that slender waist and pressing his face to his shoulder. It was a ridiculous impulse, and rationally he knew that, but something deeper inside him than logic and reason sang for it, whispered that this man was his mate.

That was impossible of course. Trent had made a point of giving him to two of the other werewolves. They'd been kinder to him than most, and he'd been grateful for them, even if the bond between them had always felt strange somehow, like it lived solely on the surface.

Not like the pull towards this man before him. But that was foolish, some misplaced awe at being so fully rescued by a handsome Lord. That had to be it. Didn't it?

He held still, save for his eyes that roamed over Essek's face as the other applied the lather to his beard.]

Ja, that is true. Starting anew feels nice. [There was so much he was ready to leave behind beyond just this overgrown, scruffy beard. His eyes widened in the next moment, the faint dusting of a blush rising beneath freckled skin.] W...will you?

[zauberdecke]

[ That blush had a sweet cinnamon apple fragrance to it that made his stomach clench with a tight longing. It was not even that he was hungry-- he'd fed enough to last a few days. No, this blood smelled like favorite food that he had not had in years upon years. But, he was respectful and he did not take treats without asking; he was not a fledgling vampire whom did not understand what was in and out of bounds.

Even though there was a deep dark voice inside that told him that this was his and had been his since they'd both been boys at the Solstryce Acadamy. It was a dark and unreasonable part of him that was feral and possessive, but one he had trained himself to keep in check. Easy of course when the one he had loved lay buried under an apple tree and his heart keep it cold company.

Once the beard was lathered up, he picked up the straight edge and then with cool fingers he turned Bren's face to the side so that he could survey where he wanted to start this. He had not done this in a while, but with vampire knowledge he could see that every strand of hair seemed to fall in the same place as his memories. ]

My kind does not grow facial hair, or even chest hair.

[ There was a small V like a rebellion but that was it. The knife was then dragged very slowly just against the beard underneath ear and he followed the trail of cheek carefully ]

So this amuses me-- I am living vicariously through you right now in the art of shaving, you are humoring me with this.

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren had no idea how close to a predator he stood, no concept of the fact that his blood would hold any draw for Essek, for anyone for that matter. Maybe as a werewolf he should have been able to sense the fact that his host was not quite living and not quite dead. But all he sensed was kindness and safety, and something in him would not allow himself to question that. He was safe here, beyond doubt and beyond question.

He let his head be turned, trying with all his might to hold still, to not even breathe knowing how close he was to Lord Thelyss. Of course, it was better not to move when there was a straight blade pressed to his face, cutting quite sharply through the scruffy, unkempt beard that had been allowed to accumulate.

His eyes fluttered before falling shut, a sort of surrendering entirely to the other man, all the trust in the world that this stranger who had taken him in would not hurt him, even by accident. It had been far too long since Bren had that thought about anyone. Pain was one of the key parts of his life.]

I see, then I am glad to be of service. [He cracked one eye open to peer at him.] If there are any other vicarious experiences I can offer, consider me at your disposal.

[The words were light, almost playful, a far cry already from the terrified thing that Essek had chanced upon in the woods, as if warmth, kindness and the promise of safety had Bren beginning to bloom like a flower finally allowed water and sunlight after too long in the winter's dark.]

[zauberdecke]

[ It ran conversely for Essek as well. Normally he would be able to pick up on the scent of dog, now all he can scent is caramel apples and the sandlewood of the soap that Bren had scrubbed himself down with. Two predators who could've easily sensed each other, but were thereby blinded to it--- and that was hubris, or perhaps something far deeper than that, something that went nearly 200 years back. Essek was holding his tongue between his teeth in concentration while the blade cut through the brush of hair.

A few minutes later, he used a warm towel to brush off the dead scruff and then went back to his endeavors. The playful tone of voice would've had him flushing if he had been capable of it, instead he quirked a brow at Bren as he directionalized the razor against jawline. ]

Well, there is much of it so I think that I will be good for at least a few weeks-- at least.

[ And as he worked, all he could think of was how pretty those lips were-- how familiar they were, how he remembered lips so similarly shaped kissing him senseless, every part of this man was perfect and clawed through his heart with nostalgia and longing. But this man was not his.. and he had to remember that ]

I will watch vicariously though as you organize my library.

[ausgebrannt]

[As more of Bren was revealed, beneath the unkempt beard, what had already been shown once the grime had been washed from his skin, Essek would find that he didn't merely resemble Caleb, not just a shade of blue in his eyes or the scattering of freckles, Bren was closer to an exact mirror of the wizard who had been dead for so many years. This was no simple instance of a soul coming back through the rebirth cycle.

Some magical strings had been pulled from the beyond -- likely by the piece of his soul currently locked away inside the traumatized werewolf -- to let the person he had been be born anew, to find his way back to the other half of his soul, the one who still held his heart through all these silent years. And he would have found him too, long before now, if Trent Ikithon hadn't found him first.

Even that though, the moment Bren had the chance at a crack of daylight through the door, he'd fled, and that flight had brought him here, to Essek, brought him home.

He tried to very hard to keep still, even if being so close to Essek still came with that pull that was just shy of impossible to resist. He knew he belonged in those arms. A slow steadying breath and he couldn't help a smile at the mention of the library, even if smiling was likely not a helpful action when one was trying to shave him.]

I'm very much looking forward to that. I have been accused, in the past, of liking books more than people.

[zauberdecke]

[ Each bit of flesh that Essek revealed, inch-- every freckle was nearly exact and identical to his memory of his husband. He certainly had never possessed Keen Mind but he had kissed them often enough, back when they had been teenagers sharing a dorm room at Solstryce, heady with the very idea of First Love, to when Daylight had been stolen from Essek and the only way that he could find the warmth of the sun was through the kisses laid out on the map of his body.

He felt emotional with it, and he begged himself to keep composure, fragile though it was.

If he had not been wary, he would've kissed this man.

But he knew that would've been strange, and thus he gave a wry look in Bren's direction as he started on the chin, quickly obliterating the hair from that area as well-- and that dimple, the dimple was revealed in the center of that chin. Oh he was thankful for the hot towel them, to draw attention to something other than the flutter withhim him, not even a beating heart-- a throb of whatever it was that Vampires did have. ]

That is fair, I think I prefer the company of books to people as well-- I will certainly not blame you for wanting to hole yourself up in the library, I would likely encourage it.

[ His hand then cupped Bren's chin as he started on the delicate space between nose and lips-- he saw that fine zemnian nose then, the subtle little bump against the center of it that he also wanted to kiss, all of these tributes to his husband from the past hitting him right in the soul ]

Do not move, this is the hardest area to shave. [ That was definitely a command ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren was entirely unaware of the inner turmoil that his rescuer was going through. All he knew was that his own heart was starting to race, not unpleasantly at all. Something about the proximity alone seemed to spark that reaction in his body, even if he couldn't pinpoint exactly why. He was also blissfully unaware that the man currently pressing that blade so gently to his skin could probably hear his quickened heart as well, given what he was.

Another twitch of a smile as Essek agreed with his assessment of books and people. His eyes were shut once more.] Encouraged to hole up in the library? All of this is starting to seem like far too good a dream.

[It was spoken lightly, but he couldn't help the nagging fear that he would wake up and find himself back in the small room with its iron bars that had been his home for too long to consider.

His eyes opened as his chin was taken and he nodded a bare fraction of movement before going utterly still, eyes fixed on those beautiful finely carved features in front of him.]

[zauberdecke]

[ That quickened heartbeat was very distracting to him, it was like a heavy call that pulled him with such primal spellwork. It was instinctual how he felt, the soft touch of fingers that almost felt like a brand. His. His beautiful lover come back to him and yet for all that, Essek could not quite believe that this man was his, did not even realize that even right now, if he crooked a finger.

If he gave even the slightest nod of interest, that this man would fall willingly at his feet.

After a hundred so years, it was hard to believe that something could be so uncomplicated and thus he was wary of it. Even as his cool thumb brushed that lower lip almost by accident, how warm and plush it felt to his cool skin-- like a searing fever. His husband had always felt like a delicious hearth fire to him, he'd always gravitated toward that warmth, and he had not precisely appreciated that until he'd held his husband's body in his arms with the temperature cooling to a state that was not unfamiliar to his own form.

Hand shifted, palm then pressed Bren's head to face the other direction and he started on the other side. If Bren looked at himself in the mirror, he would see one side of his face clear, the other still lathered and ready to be liberated from it's coccoon. ]

I am starting to see a very attractive man in there; it appears your transformation is almost complete-- not that I mind facial hair, just-- that was a little bit out of control there. You should find it far easier to maintain now.

[ Though if Essek could make a highly educated guess, he'd imagine that this man would likely miss spots and need someone to go over it with a fine toothed comb. Only due to the experience of that one spot that was always neglected, and he rather thought after a fraction of time, it had been decidedly on purpose that it had been ]

[ausgebrannt]

[A nod, a look, some errant touch, and Bren would throw himself at him without question -- well, his heart would without question. His head would have questions later, but those would clearly wait for after his heart had its way.

For the moment though, Bren held to his self control, held himself together and held himself still to try to be a cooperating subject for Essek's generous shaving services. Still, it was hard to keep from turning into that touch at his face, even if--]

You're hands are cold.

[It was not a complaint. It made Bren want to take those perfectly manicured hands in his and hold them until they were warmed. Or maybe he just wanted an excuse to touch him. That was something else he would have to puzzle out later. So many things, but Bren realized he might have time to do exactly that given he was somewhere safe and warm. He wase, of course, underestimating just how exhausted he was.

The words startled him into looking to Essek. Attractive? Was he? It was one of the first time he'd looked in a mirror in years, and he chanced a glance at himself, half-shaved but, yes. He looked human at least.]

Thank you.

[He was flushing now, and still trying to keep from moving until Essek was finished.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek was not sure that they would get to the library tonight which was well and good; rest for Bren was of primary importance and it was getting exceedingly late; a few more hours and then dawn would touch the sky, he'd want to head back to his room within plenty of time-- as the closer grew to drawing down the moon, the heavier Essek's limbs got until he was nearly useless to move.

It was not as bad as it had been when he'd first turned. When the tiredness started much earlier and often times he relied his love to carry him to his room. No, his tiredness came much later, thus giving him a shorter margin for error. ]

Have you ever met a Drow before? Our blood tends to run cooler than most.

[ Essek was rather glad that he was one, it made his movements through society easier. Most people would expect him to avoid the sun and to have pointed teeth, to possess skin that was chilled, like wine stored in an underground cellar.

He was so very close to finishing, to seeing the facial hair drawn off meticulously and reveal a picture that he knew would only serve to make him ache with longing. His fingers lightly caressing against the side of Bren's mouth as he slid the blade against skin, feeling the hot vital thrum of Bren's heartbeat, the quickening. ]

You have nothing to thank me for, you will understand when you see the library-- though I am thinking that shall come tomorrow. I can leave a note for the staff to show it to you when you waken?

[ Though Essek would not mind if Bren waited, he knew how it could be to wait for a treat such as a library; he'd feel just as antsy ]

[ausgebrannt]

Not so closely, no.

[He'd seen Drows, yes. But had never known one closely. The small town where he'd grown up didn't see a lot of much of anything. Most of the settlement was human, though it had a decent population of dwarves and elves. And since he'd run into Trent, he hadn't met much of anyone. So he was entirely unaware of Drow's were normally quite so cold, but he would take Essek's word for it since he had no reason not.

As more of the admittedly disaster of a beard was shaved away, he felt better, lighter. Maybe this really could be a new start for him, maybe he really could get away from Trent for good, live a life again. It all seemed entirely too good to be true. He watched Essek, eyes fluttering at the brush of those fingers near his mouth. Now would be a terrible time to flinch into the blade.]

Tomorrow might be best. [Bren was growing more and more aware of how remarkable it was that he was still on his feet.]

I... I'd rather wait for you to show me. [A pause.] Not that you have to, of course. I'm sure you're busy with many more important things.

[This was about the moment that he was too busy backtracking that he did move beneath that blade, a small swell of blood rising from the nick.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek would never lie to Caleb or even an adjacent soul. If the question came up as to additional details, he'd provide them but for right now he did not want the man to suffer any needless terror, or even think that he was grooming him to be a Feeder. Certainly not the impression he was hoping to make, so he spoke a truth to Bren, there were truth in it and he knew he could sleep at night with what had been revealed.

A hum of acknowledgement from Essek, no words spoken as he very gently ran the blade against skin, the words were such that he could listen to them, though he suddenly grew aware of the way that the heart seemed to jump a little bit. He'd been almost about ready to shift into a mode where he could gently correct Bren and to reassure him but it was like watching a horse become spooked.

And Bren's skin slipped uneven against his knife, a slender line that his thumb smeared inadvertantly- it'd happened too fast and while his reaction times were quick, his instincts suddenly roared in such an undeniable way. He pulled back as if stung by the presence of blood, the bouquet of it that assaulted him unfairly, that ambrosia elixir that he remembered the taste of.

It scented the same, of course it would taste the same-- like a warm cup of mulled spiced wine, of oranges and cloves and everything designed to warm him. All he had to do was..

No.....!

He set the straight-edged blade down on the counter, picked up a towel and then shoved it lightly against Bren's chest as he wiggled his way off the counter, attempting to make a quick retreat. His reaction almost made one believe that he did not like the sight of blood-- that was a good thing perhaps to have Bren believe. ]

We're finished. There is only a small spot left, which you can easily take care of-- there is also a first aid kit in the counter on the left-hand drawer. When you come out, I will show you where you can find fresh clean clothes, they are outdated a bit-- but they will do until I can take your measurements.

[ And then Essek fled out of the bathroom, but as he crossed the threshold, his thumb found it's way to his mouth and he sucked at the very tip where the blood smeared, and as the taste filled his mouth-- he felt a wave of dizzy engulf him. It was exactly the same, the taste and he found that he'd never known such a wave of debilitating longing as he did now. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren barely noticed the nick -- the blade sharp enough that the cut was near painless -- though he certainly did notice how Essek reacted, caught sight of the bright red smeared across the Drow's thumb. He winced more at how upset he seemed to have made his host than any discomfort on his part.

But if his rescuer was squeamish about blood, well, Bren would take note of that. Not that bleeding was ever his intention, but the last thing he would want was to make Lord Thelyss uncomfortable.]

Ah, sorry... that was my mistake.

[Bren was quick to apologize, taking the towel as it was pressed to his chest. Right, yes. He nodded quickly. He could handle the rest, and as he watched the other man flee -- a surge of guilt in him and a longing for the abruptly ended closeness, the strangely intimate moment.

Once he was alone in the bathroom, he sighed quietly and reached for the first aid kit, finding something to staunch the bleeding. He took the razor to catch the last bit of scruff and moved to rinse his face, finally looking at himself in the mirror, barely recognizing the face that looked back as long as it had been since he'd seen it. He ran a hand through still-damp hair and made his way out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom.]

Are you all right, Lord Thelyss?

[zauberdecke]

There is nothing to worry about; I just did not want to worsen the condition or cause an unsightly scar.

[ the euphoria of Bren's blood had passed, the taste fading into memory. But for a moment he'd tasted the shadowed hint of it and he had been brought back to a very beautiful time for him. He felt heavy with it, but also grateful even as he knew that he must've appeared brusque with the speed and force with which he'd run out of there.

He strode over to the bed where the garments were laid out. ]

Here is a pair of sleep trousers, as well as a clean tunic, they may hang on you a bit but-- you and my late husband were roughly of the same size give or take some weight.

[ Even though Caleb had always been slender; it was in the cheeks with Bren. A look of gauntness that denoted that Bren would likely be just as malnurished underneath the aegis of robe with each rib standing out like a sore thumb. Oh, Essek knew that his servants would feed him well, and Essek would bade them to give him all that he longed to eat, would rather insist upon it. ]

Tomorrow evening there are no pressing events for me to attend so I shall take you to see the library and then after my studio where I will collect your measurements and perhaps see if there's anything I can tailor to suit your frame.

[ Essek realized that he was talking too much now, perhaps because when he looked at Bren, he saw Caleb standing there, a weaker gaunt Caleb that would've been if he had survived the attack on him. ]

Is there anything else you desire before I leave you to your rest?

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren felt a growing sensation somewhere between guilt and an odd rightness at just how much this man's late husband seemed to be part of this. His clothes, his books, his room, his library. And here was Bren in the midst of it all.]

They will be perfect, thank you.

[He picked up the pants, smiling to himself at how soft the fabric felt between his fingers. Without much in the way of shame he tugged the pants on with the robe still fastened, distracted enough that he spoke without thought of what he was saying.]

Mm, I haven't been fed much recently. Disobeying means no food. [And for all that Trent had broken quite a bit of Bren, there was still enough spirit in him to resist and refuse him when some surge of bravery struck him. Pants on, he slipped free of the robe -- despite the fact that Essek was still in the room -- and reached for the shirt.

Essek had been right; Bren's ribs were certainly visible, far too easy to count, but with a little time and actual meals, that could be fixed. Bren was already feeling better after the food that had been given to him earlier. And the warmth and the gentle touches. He pulled the tunic over his head before turning to face Essek fully once more.]

A request, yes. Sorting and organizing a library is all well and good, but if you think of some way that I can actually repay your kindness, please, I'm at your service.

[zauberdecke]

[ for a moment, Essek was distracted by the way that Bren was undressing, the man who was so uncomplicated and who looked so much like Caleb. It was hard not to cross the distance and take that shirt in his fingers, pull him close and attach his lips to Bren's. The thing that kept him back was the shock value, the lack of understanding- and with the added potential misunderstanding that would be the way to pay him back.

Essek did not want just sex. It had never been about that.

He managed to catch his breath and also offer a smile that was wry and a bit shy. ]

Perhaps you should see the library first before you ask? Once you see it and still find you want to repay me, then I will think of some creative way. Perhaps serving me drinks by the pool while I moonbath?

[ that was a mental image for Bren to chew on ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren would have certainly seen it as Essek giving him a way to pay his dashing rescuer back, and he certainly would have been willing to do just that. If he was being honest with himself, which he wasn't entirely just yet, he would have let Lord Thelyss kiss him for just about any reason. In his defense, the Drow aristocrat was the almost otherworldly ethereal sort of beauty that songs were written about. And further in his defense, something deep at the center of him felt like it was caught inexorably in the orbit of this man, like he couldn't escape the pull to him even if he wanted to try. And he didn't.

He ducked his head with a laugh.]

You do realize you're only making this library sounds more intriguing.

[How big was this library? Bren very much needed to know. And he perked up at that next piece of detail too.]

You have a pool? [And now he was picturing Lord Thelyss in significantly fewer clothes basking beneath the moon and well. He would need to rein that in here and now.]

[zauberdecke]

I am making the library sound large, which it is--

[ And Bren? Despite the gaunt appearance, there was enough of his past lover in Bren that pulled Essek like a shadow caught within the tug of firelight. It was because he could see the cheeks filling out, the jawline to look not so cutting and with ribs not looking so painfully exposed. He would make sure that the staff knew to offer food to this man whenever at all possible, because he wanted to see this man thrive.

And he had caught the words earlier, about 'disobeying'. He would find out who this person was who had done this to Bren, and he would make him pay in the most slow and painful way imaginable. While he had heard it, he had tried to focus on something else because if he hadn't, the questionings would've happened. No, best to find out such things organically and with at least the modicum of a clear head on his shoulders ]

Of course I have a pool which you are free to use. And I am only halfway joking about serving me drinks by the pool, if you suddenly find yourself with time on your hands after the library organization but..

[ And that was when Essek angled a smile right in Bren's direction, and the firelight seemed to catch and hold within those dark violet's depths, illuminating warm golden glimmers like there was a fire within; a dichotomy to the coldness that was the Drow ]

For now, you are free to go anywhere you wish; my own quarters are off limits but the rest of the house is at your disposal and if you have any questions, you will always find one of my staff about and around.

[ausgebrannt]

As I said, intriguing.

[Bit by bit there was a spark coming back into Bren, as if being near to Essek was reminding something in him how to light, how to burn. He was feeling more alive already, and he knew that he would miss this place when he had to leave. There was still the better part of a month before the full moon cam and called for him again. He would have to safely aware from here before then, before Essek could discover what a dangerous monster he'd invited into his home.

He couldn't help a smile at the mention of the pool boy duties once more.] That does not sound unappealing at all. [So, well, count him in, Essek.]

Thank you again. I will try to stay out of the way, but I'm eager to see the rest of the house. [He would try to find Jester tomorrow. She seemed willing to play tour guide.]

I should let you get to your rest. I've already taken up so much of your time tonight.

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek gave an incline of his head in acknowledgement, a lock of hair curling against his cheek riotously and dangerously, and a smile that spoke of knowing such equally dangerous secrets. He very quickly then showed Bren the armoire with different garments hung inside, just as old as Essek had promised they would be. While Essek was showing Bren some deeper details of the room, Frumpkin went to make his home on the coverlet and waited patiently for Essek to be done so that he could cuddle with his long-lost master.

Which Essek would never fault the familiar. After all, Frumpkin never slept in his room-- it was the arrangement that they had made fastidiously. ]

I will find you a little after I wake up and then we will go directly to the library; feel free to ask anything of the staff. They have been cautioned not to wake you up, but ring the bell once you arise and they will bring you up breakfast.

[ His fingers itched to touch that cheek but he did not. Oh how he resisted it.

Instead he looked up into Bren's eyes with a softness there ]

May your dreams be of safety and warmth.