shattered - for makingmyway

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

[Orym can barely think straight. His mind is an utter mess, caught somewhere between rage and guilt and relief and then more guilt for that feeling. They've lost so much already in all of this, in chasing Predathos' threats. Fuck, he'd lost so much before he even knew what Predathos was.

That moment when they'd discovered sending spells were working once again, and he'd immediately tried to reach Dorian only to be met with silence, it had torn at something in him. The fear of what could have happened, of why the genasi wouldn't have answered him. He knew Dorian would have if he'd been able, so something must be wrong. Something had to be wrong. And it was. Gods he should have known better. He should have known better and done something, to keep the other man better protected.

But he couldn't protect him. He couldn't protect any of them. The latest loss was fresh and bitter and raw, and the halfling was ready to come apart from how completely he had failed. What was the point of him, what was the good of him, if he couldn't even keep the people he loved safe?

His come apart had to be postponed when they learned that Dorian had been captured though, because there was nothing else he could think about except the fact that they had to save the bard. He was already a shattered thing, and Orym didn't think he'd survive losing Dorian too. The genasi had been the only bright point left in his univeirse in many ways, and if he lost him without ever even telling him how much he meant to him. Well.

No, he couldn't live with himself.

He couldn't live.

The rescue had been, well, a bit desperate. The halfling had fought without hesitation or thought, a frenzy that left him blood-stained and only half aware of what he was even doing. But they'd gotten Dorian back. Alive.

He's been repeating that to himself over and over in his mind, and only that. Dorian is alive. Dorian is here.

They've retreated from Ruidus, taken shelter somewhere that, for the moment at least, seems safe. Everyone is their own brand of mess, and they're all barely hanging on. But they are hanging on.

Orym has been left with Dorian, to keep watch over the bard. The halfling hasn't spoken since the battle, and blood still stains his face and hands and clothes, and he doesn't seem to notice.]

Comments

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

[Orym's lips are parted around another whimper of Dorian's name, as he looks up at him, half dazed in the haze of pleasure as his climax still shakes its way through him. He cries out softly as Dorian continues moving, head falling back against the bed as he feels Dorian spill inside him, a shiver thrilling through him.

He's so full of him.]

Mm... Dorian, love... that was... you were.... so good.

[makingmyway]

[ Breathing raggedly, Dorian half collapses on top of Orym, though manages to catch himself from completely crushing the halfling. Glancing down at the handsome man beneath him, he gently strokes his stomach. ]

So were you, Orym…so good for me…

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

[Orym is not complaining about Dorian on top of him, would not complain about being crushed if it was by this beautiful man. It's grounding really, to have Dorian so close, still inside him, the weight of the other on.

His breathing is slowly coming back to normal, heart still racing.]

I love you. I love you so much...

[makingmyway]

[ His heart flips in his chest, and he leans down to capture Orym’s lips in a sweet kiss. ]

I love you too…so much…

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

[He tilts his chin up to meet that kiss, leaning up to prolong it, to seek out another then another.]

Stay with me tonight?

[They've spent so many nights together, but this is different isn't it? They can spend the night in each other's arms with the full intentionality of it, with the knowing that this love is shared and returned and true.]

[makingmyway]

[ He is more than happy to give him as many kisses as Orym wants, returning each leisurely. ]

Mm…I would love nothing more.

[ It is certainly different, staying with each other knowing that their feelings are the same. And he wants to bask in the warmth of them a bit longer, wants to feel close to Orym, to love and be loved by him. ]

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

Thank you...

[A soft smile on his features, a gentle sort of happiness that has been so long absent. Things have been dangerous and frightening and stressful, and he's felt like he was breaking. Something is starting to feel like it's mending in him, a little bit, like maybe he can heal. Maybe they both can, because gods know they've both been through hell.]

My Dorian... [He murmurs quietly.]

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian shakes his head, curling around Orym and holding him close as he carefully shifts their bodies so they can lie together. ]

I think I should be thanking you.

[ Things certainly have been difficult, but being back with Orym has been soothing something in him that he hadn’t realized was torn until now. ]

I’m here for you…my Orym…

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

Yours...

[Orym agrees, a vow in its own right as he melts into Dorian, settling close against him, basking in the warmth of having him close.]

I'm here for you too. Things are... I don't know what we're going to be facing. But being with you makes me feel like I'm strong enough for it.

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian nods, the action burying his face into Orym’s hair further. ]

Whatever happens… I know I can face anything, as long as we’re together.

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

As long as we're together.

[Orym agrees softly, arms wrapping around Dorian, clinging perhaps a bit tighter than he ought to.]

You know... I don't think the others are going to be very surprised by this.

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian can’t help a surprised laugh. ]

Yeah?

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

Mm-mm.

[Orym murmurs, voice soft and relaxed and eased in a way he can't remember feeling.]

I might've... been a little obvious about missing you. And then when sendings started working again and I still couldn't reach you I didn't exactly take it well.

[Imogen definitely saw right through him. But that girl knows gay pining and knows it well. So.]

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian chuckles softly, nuzzling into Orym’s hair. ]

I see. To be fair, I think I drove the Crown Keepers and my brother crazy worrying about you too, so they might have an idea as well.

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

Maybe we weren't so subtle, but... I guess I just was never brave enough to think you might...

[Well. It seemed impossible that Dorian could feel the same for him as Orym.]

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian huffs a breathless laugh. ]

Honestly? I never thought you could feel the same about me.

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

Guess we were both just... really wrong.

[Not that Orym can be surprised. For as observant as he is, he's a walking blindspot when it comes to romance and himself.]

I'm so glad we were.

[He shifts enough so he can find Dorian's lips with his own, slow and gentle.]

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian nods in agreement, but doesn’t have a chance to answer before Orym’s lips find his, and with a soft sound he tilts his head to slot their lips together better to return the kiss. ]