for Dorian (makingmyway)

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

(( in their soul-bonded AU, early on ))


[Life has been brighter in so many ways since that moment that he and Dorian connected, when the bond that each of them had been trying to hide was suddenly allowed to see the light, to connect with its other half. Orym is happy. Despite everything that is going on, despite the dangers and the risks, things are good. He wants nothing more than to be with the bard, to make him happy.

And the bond that was denied and suppressed for as long as it was, well, that has certainly given both of them motivation to make the most of their time.

So it's probably no surprise that the two of them have excused themselves from dinner early to retire to their room for the evening. And that Orym is currently planted in Dorian's lap -- quickly becoming one of his favorite places -- hands curled in the front of Dorian's shirt, holding the other man close as he does his best to kiss him breathless.]

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[makingmyway]

[ Dorian leans into that touch, breathing a shaky laugh from his lips. ] It never felt that way, growing up. My parents had a lot of expectations, and I could never seem to meet them. I always thought there was something wrong with me, but maybe it was just because I was always trying to be someone I’m not.

[ Taking Orym’s hand, he draws it away from his cheek to press a kiss to it instead. ] I’ve leaned a lot about the world and myself since leaving home…and getting to meet you and all our friends, I’m finally figuring things out. And part of that is thanks to you.

[ Then he leans in, gently capturing Orym’s lips with his own. ] And you were never broken. Not to me. I hated that you lost someone you love so much, someone you were bonded to, and the pain that caused you…but the fact that you were still able to keep living despite that…it’s amazing to me. You are the strongest person I know, and I am lucky to be with you.

After you told us about Will, the reason I didn’t say anything wasn’t because I thought you were broken. It’s because you asked us to help you find more information about the people who killed him. And it didn’t…it felt like it would violate your trust in me to help you with that, if I said anything. And your trust is so important to me, I didn’t want to do anything to ruin that.

[ Even if it meant suffering an unrealized bond in silence. ]

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

I don't know what it's like growing up like that, but it sounds suffocating. I'm glad you got the chance to find out who you are. Selfishly, I'm glad I got the chance to find out who you are.

[He watches as Dorian's lips press to his hand, and his heart squeezes in his chest for a much less painful reason, just achingly fond.

And there's Dorian, who is a little too kind, a little too willing to put aside the things he wants for the sake of other people. Orym's seen him do it again and again.]

Dorian... [He can understand that, but still.] I was worried I'd lose you entirely if I said anything. And even if I knew I could never really have you, at least I'd have you in my life as a friend. At least I could still be near you.

[makingmyway]

[ He chuckles faintly. ] I am too. Even with the parts of my home that I miss, I ever don't regret leaving, because it brought me to you.

[ Dorian knows he can be just as selfish as he is selfless. He’s made selfish choices time and again. But it’s always Orym that he wants to do better, be better for. Because for all that he gives, Orym always gives even more of himself to others. So if anyone deserves to get some of that kindness in return, it’s undoubtedly him. ]

It was the same for me. I was willing to have you however I could. [ With a smile, he tilts his head up for a quick kiss. ] But I am really glad it gets to be this way.

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

[Orym wonders if Dorian knows how those words sink into his heart and set it to melting entirely. As if he weren't already completely, madly in love with this man. But he can apparently fall even more.

Because it brought me to you.

Someday he'll try to explain how Dorian saved his life, how close he had been to finally giving up, convinced the world had finally run out of light for him. It'd only been his own stubbornness and a lingering desperate hope that maybe he could do some good, even with his broken, colorless life.

He lets his lips brush against the other man's, then again.]

I'm so glad it gets to be this way. It's the best thing that has ever happened to me. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

[He will always love Will, will never forget him, will always miss what they had, what could have been. But he's not who he was back then. And Dorian, well, Dorian saved him from himself, helped him find a way to emerge from that despair. Dorian has become a new and brighter sun in his world, and Orym wants nothing more than to stay in his orbit and his light.]

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian’s heart flutters, sending a light flush to his cheeks. It’s still strange to imagine that he could ever have done as much for someone like Orym, as Orym has done for him. But he can’t deny that it sends a warmth in him, if it’s really true.

Because Orym has done so much for him. He’s learned so much about the world, about life and love, about himself, just from being with and around Orym. And he wouldn’t be half the man he is today without him. It’s why he’s willing to follow him anywhere, to trust his judgement and follow his guidance, because he knows that Orym will never steer him wrong. ]

I feel the same. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to thank you enough.

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

[That blush in Dorian's cheeks is enchanting, and Orm lifts a hand to brush his fingertips along one reddened cheeks. Sometimes he looks at the bard and is struck by just how pretty he is. It takes his breath away, and now is one of those times.]

You don't have to thank me. This is enough. Being with me, letting me love you. That's more than I could ever need.

[It's a bit sentimental, but it's true. It will always be true.]

[makingmyway]

[ His eyes flutter closed as he leans into that touch, and he breathes out a soft sound. ]

There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here with you. As long as I get to love you in return, nothing would make me happier.

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

[Orym lets his touch linger, smiling quietly to himself. There's still that lingering guilt for what he said, for being the source of any doubt that Dorian feels. But it's soothed at least a little by the things they've both said.]

Good. I want you to be happy. [He shifts closer to lean into him, to tuck himself up against Dorian's chest.]

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian smiles as well, wrapping his arms around Orym and holding him close, resting his cheek atop his head. He still can’t help questioning his worth at times, plagued by his own self-doubts, but it’s something he can work on.

Especially with Orym helping him believe in himself. ]

As long as I’m with you, I am.

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

[Like this he can hear Dorian's heartbeat, can feel the rise and fall of his chest with each breath. He can't remember anything being more comfortable than this, when those arms come around him.]

When you hold me, it feels like I'm home.

[He wonders if Dorian understands how much that means to him.]

[makingmyway]

[ His smile warms, even though Orym can’t see it, and he places a gentle kiss on top of his head. ]

I’m glad I can give that to you. Because you’re home for me too.

[ He might not quite know what it means for Orym. But for him, being with Orym makes him feel more safe and comfortable, more wanted and loved than he’d ever felt anywhere or with anyone, even with his own family in the Silken Squall.

No matter where they are, being with Orym feels like where he belongs. ]