for Dorian (makingmyway)

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

(( in their soul-bonded AU, early on ))


[Life has been brighter in so many ways since that moment that he and Dorian connected, when the bond that each of them had been trying to hide was suddenly allowed to see the light, to connect with its other half. Orym is happy. Despite everything that is going on, despite the dangers and the risks, things are good. He wants nothing more than to be with the bard, to make him happy.

And the bond that was denied and suppressed for as long as it was, well, that has certainly given both of them motivation to make the most of their time.

So it's probably no surprise that the two of them have excused themselves from dinner early to retire to their room for the evening. And that Orym is currently planted in Dorian's lap -- quickly becoming one of his favorite places -- hands curled in the front of Dorian's shirt, holding the other man close as he does his best to kiss him breathless.]

Comments

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian knows he’s been driving everyone a little crazy with all the wedding stuff, and gone up to sit on the roof and gaze at the sky. He doesn’t notice Orym joining him until he feels the weight against him, and he jumps a bit before realizing who it is. ]

Oh you know…more wedding stuff, as usual. [ The weak joke is accompanied by a faint laugh, but if doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He mostly just looks tired, and they haven’t even really started to seriously plan yet. ]

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

Ah.

[Orym nods thoughtfully, peeking up at him. He knows that sort of laugh, Dorian. He knows it all too well, that it's an attempt at deflection, at seeming like everything is fine.]

You know, I should be shouldering at least half of this, since technically this will involve the both of us. [The words are spoken lightly, but he means them.] Let me help? Tell me what's on your mind?

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian can’t help wincing a little. He knows he should be telling Orym what’s going on, but he hates having to involve him with his family issues.

But then, wouldn’t it be better to be upfront about it, so he knows what he’s getting into?

With a sigh, he glances down over the edge of the roof. His legs are dangling down, but he draws them up to wrap his arms around his knees. ]

…Cyrus told me that our parents might not attend the wedding if we don’t marry in the Silken Squall.

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

[Orym watches Dorian draw in on himself like that. Well, he was right. Everything is definitely not okay. He looks only slightly surprised by the news. Honestly, it's better than he expected. Part of him has been worried that Dorian's parents wouldn't attend the wedding if he were one of the grooms.

He turns to face the other man, letting one leg dangle over the edge. This way he can watch Dorian's face better.]

Would you want to have the wedding there?

[That's the real question here.] I don't care where we have the ceremony, as long as you're the one with me at the altar.

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian is quiet for a long moment. They had talked a bit about the Silken Squall being a possible location, but now… ]

I would have, before this. But not if they’re making it an ultimatum. If we agree to it now, they’ll take it as a sign of giving in, and they’ll want to take over everything else. [ He glances at Orym with a weak smile. ] If you thought I was going a bit crazy lately, it would be so much worse with them trying to control everything.

[ Falling silent again, he sighs and rests his chin on his knees. ] But I guess I thought…if I could just show them that all of the little details were perfected, maybe it might change their mind about coming.

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

[Orym is quiet, listening close as Dorian speaks, though he does reach out to settle his hand on Dorian's urging it away from his legs to lace their fingers together.]

Yeah, I can see how that could happen. We want this to be ours.

[Not Dorian's parents, not anyone else's. But ah, there it is. He squeezes that hand gently.]

It's going to be perfect. There's no way it won't be. But they should want to come for you, not for the flower arrangements or the table decorations.

[He falls quiet for a moment before adding.] Maybe I could talk to them? I mean, I know I'm not exactly their first choice for a son-in-law, but... I want to take care of you, to make you happy. That has to count for something, right? All of us care about you, we should be able to find some common ground.

[makingmyway]

[ Letting his hand be drawn away, he glances at Orym and retuns the gentle squeeze. ]

I know. [ He huffs, shaking his head. ] You know they said that it’s because they can’t really afford to leave the Squall, but we haven’t even set a date yet! They don’t know that they’ll be busy. [ It’s a brief flash of anger that quickly deflates again. ] I guess it’s too much to expect that they would just want to come see me be happy.

[ He hesitates a moment, glancing at Orym again.] I…I don’t know. I want them to meet you, but…

[ But he can’t deny that Orym not being a Genasi is part of the reason they might not come in the first place. ]

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

It's not too much to expect.

[Orym answers, stubbornly. He's never met Dorian's parents, and he doesn't want to say anything bad about them; he knows Dorian cares about them. But from what he does know of them, well, he's infuriated at how they seem determined to control Dorian, how they've managed to make this bright, beautiful, shining man doubt his own brilliance.]

But..?

[He prompts gently. He wants to hear whatever it is. He has his guesses.]

[makingmyway]

[ His smile is still a bit weak, but more genuine as he lifts their hands to press a kiss to the back of Orym’s. He knows that his relationship with his parents is complicated, but he appreciates Orym reminding him that some of the things he’s held within him for so long aren’t entirely founded. It’s still taking time, but he’s trying to be better.

Even with the prompting, he can’t help hesitating a moment. He knows that Orym has some suspicions, but he’s never wanted to say them outright, as if keeping them hidden would somehow make them less true. ]

But…there was always the expectation growing up to marry another well to-do Genasi. Someone who could continue the line and support our family’s influence.

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

[Orym has guessed these things, but hearing them spoken still carries some weight of it. He knows Dorian loves him, doesn't have so much as a shred of doubt in it. It's obvious in the way that Dorian looks at him, touches him, the way that the bard reacts to his touches, like there's some irresistible magnetism between the two of them. But he still wishes that he could be everything that Dorian could need.]

And I'm none of those things. [Orym nods, with shadow of a smile. He's not. He has no name or money. He's not a Genasi. And clearly he can't give Dorian children.] Not even close, really.

[makingmyway]

[ It’s exactly that look on Orym’s face that he feared, why he had never wanted to tell him any of this in the first place.

Uncurling himself, he gently tugs on Orym’s hand to draw him closer. ] I’m glad you’re not, honestly. The people my parents always tried to set me up with were the worst. I could never be happy with them as I am with you.

My parents just…can’t understand that.

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

[Orym is all too eager to move closer. He won't admit it, but he has his own insecurities about being enough, about doing enough. Dorian's arms are the best cure he's found for those thoughts.

He leans into him, shutting his eyes.]

As long as I make you happy, that's all that matters. [But still,] It's not fair your parents can't be happy for your happiness.

[makingmyway]

[ Orym’s presence helps soothe him as well, but he still sighs as he nods. ]

I know. Cyrus says he’ll do what he can to talk to them, but I hate that it’s even necessary. I hate that they’re still trying to control me and make decisions about my life.

But is it weird that I still want them to be part of my life, even after all this?

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

I know.

[Orym murmurs softly. He does know, and he hates how it weighs on Dorian. He'd fix it if he can. Family is a strange thing. Orym has always been of the opinion that family is who you make it. His mother is a wonderful woman, and he loves her dearly. His biological father seldom even enters his mind, a non-presence as he'd chosen to make himself.

But family is still family.]

Of course not. They're your parents and you love them. Even if they don't understand you entirely... that doesn't make that any less true.

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian certainly has learned what it’s like to be able to choose your family, with the friends he’s made during his adventures. But his biological family is still an important part of his life, and on some level he will always feel a sense of duty towards them.

Even when it’s difficult. ]

Yeah. [ Another sigh as he glances towards the sky again. ] I don’t want to give into their whims, but…I still want them to be there. I want them to meet you, to meet all our friends, everyone who’s taught me so much about myself and the world. I want…I want them to get to know the person I’ve become… [ His voice skips a bit, as he rubs the heel of his free hand against an eye. ] I want to know that they’d still love me as I am…

[ And isn’t that the heart of the matter? That deep down, he’s just afraid that his parents wouldn’t love him if he isn’t the son that he’s supposed to be. As happy and as proud of the person he’s found in himself, there’s that fear that his parents might reject him for it. ]

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

Oh love.

[Orym murmurs, rising up on his knees now so he can wrap his arms around Dorian more securely, pull the other man in against him. From this position he can bury his face against that soft hair, lips half brushing his ear as he speaks.]

They love you. They will love you. You're an amazing person, and they should see that. The things you've accomplished, the people you've helped. All of it.

[Orym will help sing his praises, because he is fully aware of Dorian's habit of selling himself short.]

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian leans against Orym, heavier than he might usually but he can’t help it at the moment. He holds Orym close, almost clinging to him, as he presses his face against Orym’s neck. ]

…I don’t know what to do.

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

I know. And neither do I. But we'll figure it out, all right?

[One way or another. His fingers brush through Dorian's hair, soft and gentle. It's a little hard given their bond, not to feel a building anger for someone who has hurt his bonded this way. But he calms that down, a reminder that it is Dorian's family.]

We can talk to Cyrus and figure out a plan.

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian nods a little. Their parents might listen to Cyrus a bit better, so hopefully his brother will be able to help.

With a sigh, he nuzzles more into Orym. ] I’m sorry. I hate that all this has to be so complicated.

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

I'm not.

[Orym informs him, nuzzling into Dorian's hair in turn.]

Complicated or not, getting to be with you for the rest of my life, that's worth whatever it takes. And this is nothing. No one's actively trying to kill us over it, so that's gotta count for something, right?

[makingmyway]

[ Dorian can’t help a smile, marveling - not for the first time - how Orym always knows what to say, and how to help him feel better. ]

Yeah, I guess so.

[ The silence settle over them for a moment, and he takes a breath, drinking in Orym’s scent and presence.

Then suddenly, he snorts a laugh. ]

…Is it too late to say “fuck it” and just elope?

[ He’s only sort of joking. ]

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

[Orym sinks into the silence and proximity as well, enjoying the warmth of Dorian pressed against him, the faint but pleasant chill of the air a sharp contrast.

He lifts his head to look at him with a laugh of his own.]

Never too late. Say the word and we can leave tonight.

[He's also only sort of joking.]

[makingmyway]

[ He laughs himself, though his is a bit more surprised as he shifts back a bit to look at Orym. ]

Really?

[bigmoonlittlemoon]

[Orym looks back at him, a soft smile still on his face.]

Yeah, really. Like I said, as long as I end up married to you at the end of the day, anytime anyplace is perfect.

[A pause.] I do have this vision of you in something pretty though. During the ceremony. [Another pause and a glint of mischief creeping into smile as he adds,] Or after.

[Just saying. So maybe just a little shopping before eloping.]

[makingmyway]

[ With another laugh, Dorian grins playfully. ] I’m more than happy to do both.

[ It just means he’d get to buy more.

Releasing a breath, he does sober a bit as he glances out towards the distance again. ]

As tempting as it would be to get to be married to you tomorrow…I feel like it would just be running again. I couldn’t take the pressure my parents put on me before, so I ran away. But I’m…tired of running. If I really want my parents to see who I am, I’m going to have to face them eventually.

[ It’s certainly a sign of the development he’s experienced since he’d first left home. ]