for Peter (werewolfing) - Post-Folkmore Exandria AU

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb opens his eyes back in Exandria. When he fell to sleep, he'd been safe and warm, held in Peter's arms. Where he belongs, where his heart had come to know was where he was meant to be, in any and all worlds. Now though, now he finds himself opening his eyes in a moment that is familiar, but feels distant. The last moment he'd been in Wildemount before he'd found himself snatched away by the Fox and her request that wasn't quite a request so much as a command. It's disorienting, like being dropped into a deep pool of cold water, not entirely sure which way gravity properly existed, no memory of how to breathe like this.

He takes stock almost desperately. Yes, this is his own world. There's a terrible moment where he wonders if all that time in Folkmore had been some incredibly vivid dream. But no, that's wrong. It's impossible. His imagination has never been so talented, and his heart knows all too well that it was real -- the people he'd met there, the things he'd done. Peter. Immediately Caleb reaches for that bond that has kept them in each other's minds, the comforting, warm presence of his lover. 'Peter!' But no answer comes. It feels like the connection is still there, some vague promise that somewhere, across whatever realms and worlds may be, Peter Rumancek is still alive. He looks quickly to the red string around his pinky -- and it's still there, still tied securely, but it trails off into nothing after only a few inches, connected to nothing.

No. No. The frantic sound he nearly chokes on wakes Veth, and she's quick to ask him what's wrong. He tries to explain it, he really does, to Veth, to the others. Again and again. But they don't know what to make of it. They know that Caleb has been here all this time, had he been dreaming? He tries to assure them that no, he hasn't been dreaming, he's been in another world all together, for months, longer. His friends are kind, and they humor him -- or they worry. Caleb knows they're worried. He tries to pick up and move on.

Time passes, and there's a new and somehow deeper sadness in Caleb, a new loss that is fresher than his older regrets and sorrows. He's quieter, and his friends notice him fidgeting with his fingers lost in thought, the small one where that limp invisible red string is wrapped, his ring finger that feels so empty without the simple band that Peter had placed there.

By day, he keeps going. They have important goals to accomplish, things that cannot go neglected. But oh the nights are hard. Cold and empty. Sleep barely comes, and when it does, there are dreams of beautifully blue eyes and a rakish smile, a face that he fears even with his keen mind he might be forgetting. A month passes, longer.

They've returned to Zadash to check in with the Gentleman -- Jester's father, apparently, so there's that -- a sort of returning to their roots, the place they had begun. Caleb is there, physically, but there's still a distance about him, as if his mind is elsewhere. It is, of course. It's chasing his heart, which never did make the trip back to Exandria with him.

They make their way down into the Gentleman's lair, greeted warmly by their crime-boss sometimes-patron. Caleb is silent, lingering in the back of the group as conversation spins up in cheerful catching up.

What the wizard doesn't notice is that his familiar has wandered off, Frumpkin quite certain that he's caught a very familiar scent. The small orange cat seems intent on finding something, on a feline mission with his wizard's best intentions at heart.]

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[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb nods in agreement to Peter's assessment. He's aware the Gentleman has done more questionable things in the past, but also knows that those things are in fact the past. It's the same level of comfort that he has about their dealings with him.]

We chose to align our star to his rather than the Empire, back when all of this was just beginning. It seemed wiser than being drawn into a newly declared war.

[Then they wound up dragged into said war on the exact opposite side and brokering peace deals and well. Life is strange and complex, and right now none of that matters because Peter is here and everything else feels incidental.]

They are not the best beds, but far from the worst. But yes, that is all that matters. A place to be with you alone. A door to close out the world.

[There it is. That echo of their shared lingering fear. He laughs at Peter's assessment of the Nein.]

Somehow less motley than we have been, but yes. Certainly true. And you are the most incredible thing that I have ever seen.

[A tightening of his fingers around Peter's as he leads them into the Leaky Tap and requests several rooms, leaving the keys for all but one with the barkeeper with a description of who will be coming for them. And with that he leads Peter up the stairs to the room that will be theirs for the evening.]

[werewolfing]

From what I've heard of the Empire and what I saw of your doppelganger, you made the right choice. Not that I'm much for imperialism regardless. Fucking colonizers, they ruin everything.

[ going on a tangent seems preferable to giving into any of peter's other feelings, at least until they're alone. ]

I have slept in some truly shit beds, so as long as it doesn't have bugs in the mattress, it'll do. And how the fuck were you all ever more motley? Seems dubious, unless you mean Veth being Nott and people being shitty...racists? Speciesists? Whatever, don't care.

[ the reason he doesn't care is because there's a room with a bed and a door to put between them and the rest of the world, and peter takes the opportunity to close and bolt it before twisting to pin caleb against it. the kiss that follows is slow, deep and tender, unhurried despite peter's obvious neediness, like a man dying of dehydration must drink slowly in order to keep water down. ]

[ausgebrannt]

The Empire is full of rot and poison at its roots, ja.

[But talk of corruption and war can wait. The world can wait, whatever world it happens to be. Caleb had been ready to spend his life with Peter in that other place, and finding himself back here without his soulmate has shaken him far more than he had let on -- and he had let on quite a bit, honestly.

He starts to consider how to best to explain that he was a bedraggled, filthy thing, Veth was a goblin, Beau was basically feral, and there was Mollymauk who made everything all the more colorful, but none of that makes it to coherent thought because suddenly he's caught between Peter and the door and those lips are on his and what in the hell else could matter?

Caleb winds his arms around Peter's neck, holding him close and kissing him back with just as much need, relief so strong it's painful.]

[werewolfing]

[ the kiss stays slow and deep and tender as peter begins undressing caleb by feel. it's been awhile since he's had to fuss with this sort of unfamiliar clothing on someone else, but he's used enough to fussing with it on himself now that his fingers only fumble from the fact that his hands are shaking, not because they don't understand the fastenings. ]

It was so hard without you, iubit. I went back to surviving instead of living. Don't think I can live the right way without you anymore. Gonna take awhile to put my head right again

[ abruptly, he laughs, if only in his head, his mouth curving into a smile against caleb's lips. ]

Fuck, this is real. In my dreams, you always still had the tail. I kept all my gifts from the Fox, but you wouldn't, would you? This is your world. Gonna miss that tail.

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb feels those clever fingers undoing his clothes, and gods it's been too long since he's had Peter's hands on him, had his hands on the other man's body, and the sudden surge of desire and need in him threatens to steal his breath entirely. His own hands move to start returning the favor, fumbling more than he wants to admit.]

I am here now, Mondschein. And I will never let you go again.

[He smiles against Peter's lips in turn.]

You are the only gift she allowed me to keep it seems. And I am... so grateful for that. ...I am a wizard. If you miss the tail too much I can bring it back sometime.

[werewolfing]

[ being shunted into a whole different universe apparently hasn't removed peter's penchant for layers--beneath his cloak is some simple leather armor, and beneath that the protective padding and a linen shirt and pants to protect his skin. there's a belt with several daggers around his waist, enchanted to retrieve the blades if they're thrown or dropped, and another in a sheath on his boot. once he finishes with caleb's much simpler scarf, jacket and shirt, he helps with the shedding of his armor. ]

We kept the bonds, iubit, all of them, and those are the most important. Can't ever lose each other again now. The tail was nice, but you know damn well that's not what matters. Not that I'll say no if you offer, but discovering if that part of your back is still as sensitive is excellent substitution.

[ausgebrannt]

We did, ja. When I woke up here, there was the string around my finger, even if it went to nowhere. I knew you were real, that it hadn't been a dream, that you were somewhere.

[Small comfort, but still comfort. But Peter is right. They can never lose each other again now.

He's still working his way through Peter's clothes.]

How are you wearing even more now?

[He fusses, but there's not really any complaint behind it. Especially since in the next moment, he's opining,]

Leather and blades suit you...

[His beautiful, dangerous lover.]

[werewolfing]

That string was the only thing that kept me from going out of my head. Fell in with the Gentleman by accident, but it felt right, so I stayed.

[ peter laughs, aloud this time. ]

Nobody is more surprised than me that I wake up in the morning and put on fucking armor to sit in a bar. Or kill people. The stealing things was pretty standard before the Fox.

[ he chuckles again as he pulls off his gloves. ]

Can't say I've seen a mirror around big enough to really get a view of the whole deal, but glad the look works for you.

[ but peter is, as ever, more interested in getting caleb out of his clothes than appreciating how he looks in them, though he does think the kryn style suits caleb better than the empire's idea of fashion. ]

[ausgebrannt]

You would be stunning in anything at all, rags or nothing at all. ...perhaps especially in nothing at all.

[Which is, after all, the current goal. Though something in him aches that Peter has been on his own all this time here, that he's had to find his way in this strange world alone. But Caleb has him now, and will do whatever he can to make up for that time.]

Which is the plan, eventually.

[He teases, turning his attention to Peter's trousers -- and any belt(s) that may be in the way there -- since Peter seems to know his way around his armor a bit better. Caleb leans in to press a kiss to Peter's neck, down along the line of his shoulder.]

I have missed you so much, it has been so cold and empty without you in my mind, without your arms to fall asleep in.

[werewolfing]

You are irreparably biased, pretty flame. Have a few new scars under all these layers, but nothing serious.

[ caleb is correct; peter makes short work of the fastenings of his armor and peels himself out of the underlayers with practiced ease. he does have several new scars, small slashes on his torso where the leather doesn't cover, and a larger one that scores diagonally across his right bicep. there are a variety of new knicks on his hands and forearms, but they look more like the results of frequently handling and practicing with blades than any sort of real damage. he's lost some weight, but mostly it just brings his musculature closer to the surface and sharpens his cheekbones.

when caleb kisses his neck, peter very clearly gets distracted, tipping his head to the side in invitation. ]

It's been hell. Some nights I couldn't even drink myself unconscious. But that's over now, iubit. No more cold and empty minds or nights, not anymore.

[ausgebrannt]

Biased does not mean I am wrong.

[Caleb points out, but there is a frown at the mention of scars, and once the rest of Peter's layers are gone, he leaves those leather pants clinging to the other man's hips in favor of letting his hands roam up over his torso, his sides, his chest, fingertips that know this body by heart noticing the new scars, the leaner muscles.

It is still his Peter, without a doubt, but his touch lingers over these new scars with something between reverence and regret, that he had not been there for him in those moments. He presses a kiss above the pulse in Peter's neck, lingering there a moment.]

Not anymore. I have you now.

[werewolfing]

They're not your fault, my ridiculous creature. Don't you dare feel guilt or regret. I won every one of those fights, shedding some blood is part of the deal. How injured did you get between there and here?

[ he bends his neck in turn to kiss caleb's shoulder, nipping a little to redden the skin. his fingers begin their work unfastening caleb's trousers. ]

You have me always now, iubit. And I can protect you better now than I could then. Protect us both. Won't your friends be surprised.

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb, who does of course remember that Peter is aware of his emotions, is still startled by that. It still stings to know that he hadn't been there with Peter, but of course his love is right. The other man is right about this sort of thing annoyingly often, really. And the Zemnian wizard will not be answering that question either, because yes. Point taken.]

We can protect each other. You are... I have learned very clearly that there is no world worth living in without you in it.

[So Peter will need to be kept safe in all this. Caleb's breath catches at the feeling of those teeth, and he seems to remember that he's left Peter in his pants too long. He's managed to unfasten them before he was distracted, so now he will see to easing them off his hips and down his legs.]

[werewolfing]

We'll have to pick at the knots of your guilt complex again, I see. But I have plenty of knots to pick at too.

[ the tone of the words is good-humored, because peter knows his time in exandria hasn't been kind to his mental stability and it clearly hasn't been kind to caleb's either. but there will be time for that later. right now is still getting undressed and into bed time, because peter doesn't think either of them will truly believe this is real until they are as close together as they possibly can be. ]

Maybe we can both start living again now, and make sure we keep doing that.

[ peter works his way out of his pants and boots, and then tugs to make sure caleb's follow. once they're both undressed, he scoops caleb up and deposits him gently in the middle of the mattress before settling his own body on top of the other man.

despite the fact that he's blazingly aroused, peter is mostly still, carding fingers that have gained new callouses through caleb's hair as he looks down at him like he's something miraculous. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[There are many knots that have been retied or tangled anew, in both of them. But they're together now, and things can settle, can heal, the constant tension that Caleb has been holding in himself can finally begin to ease.]

We can start right now.

[Caleb agrees. It has already started. The silence of the room, around them, Peter's unspoken voice in his mind the sweetest song he could imagine. And as he finds himself swept up so easily into those arms once more, the flood of memory of so many times they've done just this rushes over him like spring rolling over winter and banishing the cold.

Peter's body atop his is a welcome weight, and Caleb finds himself looking up at Peter's eyes. His hand lifts, fingertips brushing those few stray pieces around his hair back and away, before touching along his cheek, the bearded line of his jaw.]

You're real...

[A soft revelation. Caleb shifts beneath him, and Peter will certainly notice that he is not the only one achingly arouse, that all of Caleb's body has responded to his presence, his touch, nothing at all forgotten in these past months.]

[werewolfing]

More real than I've felt since I woke up here.

[ and it really does feel like that, like parts of peter that he'd drowned in the depths of himself are rising to the surface again. every place his skin meets with caleb's feels like his nerves are waking after a long sleep. the colors of caleb's hair and eyes seem more vivid, turning his hair to firelight on copper and his eyes into gas flames. peter runs his thumb from caleb's temple to trace the line of his cheekbone with reverent gentleness. ]

Somehow I didn't remember exactly how beautiful you are. Or you got prettier, don't know.

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb's fingers find where Peter's hair is gathered in that bun at the nape of his neck and works it free to send that hair loose so he can sink his fingers into hit properly. He smiles, nodding. This world does feel more real, more solid, now that he's found his soulmate once more.

Caleb turns into that touch, eyes falling almost shut -- almost, but he doesn't want to look away from Peter's face, not now, not when it's been so long since he's seen him.]

And now who is being biased, Schätzchen?

[werewolfing]

[ peter sighs like he's been holding his breath forever when caleb's fingers run through his hair. ]

I'm definitely not the only one who finds you pleasing to look at, iubit. Most of the time my job is to make sure nobody's looking at me at all. You're an exception.

[ when he kisses caleb, peter's eyes are still open, blue staring into blue as their mouths brush lightly. they stay open as he deepens the kiss and his hand slides to cup caleb's jaw, thumbnail scratching gently into his beard. ]

[ausgebrannt]

Then I will look enough for everyone.

[Works for Caleb. If he's a little possessive, can he be blamed for it? He thought he'd lost him, lost this, and now that Peter has come back to him, if he holds a little tighter for a while, is that really all that strange?

He sighs softly to Peter's lips, pleasure and relief and the contentment that comes with returning home, where he belongs. His lips parts and fingers card through Peter's hair again and again.]

I love you.

[And that's not enough so he draws back from the kiss just far enough to speak out loud, words shaped to those sweet, perfect lips.]

I love you. [And then again and again out loud, in silence as if Caleb intends on making up for how long it's gone unsaid.]

[werewolfing]

[ peter is certainly not objecting to caleb looking more or holding tighter, especially since it was an effort for him to make his arms release the other man so they could walk from pub to inn. usually peter holds his friendships fairly lightly in his grip--he knows that even though he's in exandria, even if he found Vex or Keyleth, they probably wouldn't remember. but caleb is his soulmate, and he'll never be able to let that go. ]

I love you too. Never stopped, never plan to. Shush, before you make me cry again, pretty flame.

[ not much is holding him back from doing so right now beyond the fact that he wants to kiss caleb, for them to touch each other until the ache between them eases and they are truly sure this is real. so he does that, dropping kisses over caleb's cheeks and jaw and down to his neck, nipping at the skin with delicate teeth and licking at the taste of sweat and wildfire. ]

[ausgebrannt]

Ja, ja. You are right. [Caleb gives a quiet laugh at that. He's likely to make himself cry too if he continues, and there may be time for tears again, but right now all he wants is to sink into everything about this moment. He wants to rememorize Peter's body, the feeling of those hands on him. He needs it.

They both need this, to release months of pent up pain and fear and grief and tumble into bliss with each other so there's nothing left between them. His head falls back to the pillow, and he shifts beneath Peter, shifting enough so that he can lift a thigh, to press against the other man's arousal, a slow and deliberate pressure.

He'd nearly forgotten how intoxicatingly good it was to desire and be desired in return.]

[werewolfing]

[ the pressure of caleb's thigh makes peter groan, and the shifting of their legs means that he can return the favor, pushing his body down against the other man. his hips rock slightly of their own accord, in rhythm with his mouth as he tenderly bites and sucks a mark onto the end of caleb's collarbone.

it feels like forever, but his body slips into old patterns as though only hours have passed since the last time they laid together like this. there's still the fundamental knowing, the familiarity of home, and peter lets his body do what it knows how to do while his mind floods with want and need and adoration. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[It was Caleb's turn to voice a soft sound, pleasure and need mingling and twining together to form a wordless plea that he knows Peter will understand. It may have been too long, but they cannot have forgotten this language between them that they both learned to speak so fluently together, a language of body and sound more than words.

His hips arch up to chase that delicious pressure, an equally eloquent expression of the yearning coursing through his body where his blood ought to be.]

Mondschein... I need you so badly. I've dreamed about you, about this...

[And always, always he's woken from those dreams cold and alone. He needs this to be real so, so badly.]

[werewolfing]

You know I'll give you anything in my power to give, iubit. but we may be lacking a very important ingredient in that, unless you carry oil.

[ but that doesn't stop peter from sliding his way slowly down caleb's body, licking and kissing a path with his mouth and teasing another with his fingers. ]

[ausgebrannt]

In my components pouch...

[Caleb informs him. Perks of being a wizard means one is also an eclectic packrat, and it occasionally comes in handy. The sweet oil in his pouch is for Suggestion, but fuck spell components right now they can be replenished.

He runs a hand down over Peter's shoulder, down his back and back up.]