for Essek (lacrymaperle) - vampire/werewolf au

[ausgebrannt]

[There had been a simpler time, several years before when Bren hadn't yet known Trent Ikithon, a time when he was thoroughly and blissfully unaware of the things that existed in the dark, when the ideas of werewolves and vampires and other creatures that ought to have been nothing more than fairy tale fodder. Instead, his paths had crossed with Trent and everything had changed. He'd been thrown into a small walled courtyard one night, under the light of a full moon, and he had not been alone. That was the first time he had met a werewolf. Bren remembered the bite, still had the scar of it on one forearm, remembered the confusion and the terror -- both of which were nothing compared to the full moon that followed the month after, the first time he'd transformed. He remembered the pain of his entire body breaking and reshaping itself, the fear of losing himself entirely. He'd blacked out that night, woken up naked and aching as if he'd been run over by a bus.

It had been the same very moon since, except that piece by piece, bit by bit, he held onto some small shred of himself during the transformation. Trent Ikithon had explained that all this was for Bren's own good, that he was safer here than anywhere else. that there were vampires who would tear him apart on sight, one in particular, a singular monster who Trent seemed to have a personal loathing for. Bren tried to probe why any vampire, never mind a particular one, would have any interest in him. No explanation was ever given except that 'the Shadowhand will never have you. Not in this life or the next. I will see to that.'

Bren had no idea what that meant. Before all this, the only strange thing in his life were recurring dreams -- and oh they were beautiful things. Arms that were secure and safe around him, tender and gentle but not warm. The soft lilt of a voice that assured him everything would be well, that wherever he went he would be found again. Trent had hated the dreams and had done his best to cast them out of Bren's conscious awareness. Now they were barely shadows, things he could remember the feeling of more than the details. It hurt even trying to recall them, so he didn't.

This past moon Bren had made his escape after he transformed, finally aware enough of himself that he had his chance. He was free. That was the only thought in his mind right now and it repeated in echoed mantra over and over again as he tried to keep himself from spiraling into a breakdown. It had been years since he'd been out, actually out in the world, not kept with Trent Ikithon's control, trapped within the grounds of that monster's manor. He was, after all, Trent's pet project, for whatever reasons the old bastard had. It didn't matter. Back in that direction lay only pain and isolation. He wouldn't go back.

Of course, he didn't really have a plan to go forward either, really. Even before he'd been captured and turned, he hadn't had any family left, few friends, and he'd been out of the world for years now. He managed to steal find some clothes, ill-fitting, a coat that was too big on his underfed frame, a scarf wrapped about his neck. He was a mess, long copper hair in tangles past his shoulders, his beard untrimmed, a frantic fear in wide blue eyes as he tried to find somewhere to hide, somewhere to get his bearings. He couldn't let Trent find him again. This was freedom, and he would not give it up.

A soft meow caught his attention, and he looked up in surprise as a small orange tabby approached him. For the first time in a long while, Bren smiled.] Hello there... [The little creature sniffed his outstretched hand and headbutted his fingers. It was the first kind touch that he'd known in so long, he almost teared up over it.] Well, at least I am not alone anymore. That's comforting.

[Now if he could just figure out what the hell he was going to do, where he was going to go.]

Comments

[ausgebrannt]

[Bren sank sweetly into sleep, safe and warm and loved -- and oh wasn't that a new and remarkable feeling, one that he wanted to hold onto forever. Sleep gave way to dreams, that strange moment where he felt like he was himself and someone else at the same time, this forgotten part of his soul.

These were Caleb's memories, his memories, and as he settled into the memory that realization faded as well. All there was, was this moment.

The dorm room was nothing lavish, but there was more than enough space for two teenage boys. Two beds -- though more and more they were only using one, Essek trancing and Caleb taking his sleep curled around the softly thrumming elf. Caleb had missed that the most during the holidays.

He'd come back to the academy with several presents for Essek as well -- a scarf that his mother had knitted to keep the poor, thin boy warm and a basket of cookies to feed both skinny boys. And something of his own for Essek, since he was well aware it was the Drow's birthday.

When the door opened, when Essek finally returned, he would be met with a bright smile and a pair of arms wrapping around him before he even managed to make it through the door.]

You have a long way to travel. It hasn't been that long a wait. I am just glad to see you again.

[zauberdecke]

[ The scent of Caleb enrobed him, arms that wound around him and as those arms wrapped around, his feet touched the ground and he settled in close; his own arms holding presents but rather happy to feel Caleb again, he felt like home there in a way Roshona did not; however that feeling had been growing and growing into this moment right here. Warm hearth fire and ink and paper, something also spicy.

He inhaled greedily for a moment and then he tilted his head up to nuzzle his nose against Caleb's jawline. Finally, his lips found the corner of his wizard boyfriend's in a soft and thoroughly sweet kiss. ]

I missed you so very much.

[ The drow had not told anyone except for Verin about his new relationship. For all that Verin was loud, he knew that he would keep it safe. But Essek had to tell someone, it was a secret brimming inside of him especially with Caleb's lack of presence over the holidays. ]

My travels went well but I have presents and I am excited to give them to you.

[ even more excited this year, now that they were.. together ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb turned towards those lips to make it a proper kiss, sweet and tender and far too brief. But there would be time later. Essek was back, and their separation was over for the time being. He had been happy to see his parents, of course, but the lack of Essek's presence had always been there, emptiness beside him when he had grown so accustomed to the Drow being there.]

I missed you too, constantly.

[For his part, Caleb had told his mother about their newfound romance only to be met with a warm hug and more advice than he ever had wanted. And a fully harrowing discussion of the birds and the bees that he did not need.

But here Essek was. Caleb released him in order to usher the bother boy inside and shut the door.]

I have gifts for you too. Come in, Liebling. Let me help you with your things.

[zauberdecke]

[ Caleb's lips against his sent a thrill through him, made his lips tingle and his heart flutter. Mouths soft and sweet, a kiss that was filled his heart in a way that made it soar through the sky. Wings, his heart felt like it had wings whenever he was in the same room as Caleb Widogast. The kiss was far too soon over and he hoped that there would be more kisses after the giving of presents. ]

My things will be here shortly, I did not worry too much about it as I still have my school robes here.

[ Essek stepped away so that he could remove his own mantle, using a bit of magic to float it to the hook on the door, and then he walked over to rest two packages on Caleb's bed. The packaging was neat and orderly, purple wrapped with ribbons. Essek had taken great joy in wrapping the presents, making sure that it was perfect-- putting every ounce of care he could into the wrapping of it. Then he settled on the bed, tucking one leg underneath the other as he reached for a smaller package first. ]

I am sorry, I am just very excited to give you your presents, I.. I want to see your reaction to them, yes?

[ Essek's eyes sparkled with warmth, a warmth that the other guy had brought to his life. That same warmth that had been lacking from his life years ago. And he never wanted to live a moment without that warmth; without the promise of that smile ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb would be very put out if there was not a great deal more kissing in the very near future. They had so much time to make up for, didn't they? That was what the Zemnian wizard thought anyway.]

I have gifts for you too, so ja. We should tend to those.

[He wanted to see what Essek's reaction would be as well. A detour to his desk brought a small stack of packages wrapped in simple brown paper, tied with twine, though he had worked sprigs of pine and holly in berry on them.

He set his packages down and joined Essek on the bed, sitting cross-legged across from him, expression nothing but open warmth for the other boy.]

[zauberdecke]

[ They did have much to make up for; it had been a long few weeks. Especially for Essek with all of the ceremonies and the functions that were inherent within the Kryn Dynasty. He was tired of them all and now he was sitting across from the guy who represented safety and warmth to him; and to be fair-- All Essek wanted to do was burrow himself into those arms and lose himself so completely in kisses.

Until he forgot who he was; until he was no longer Essek of Den Thelyss but Essek, Caleb Widogast's boyfriend-- until he remembered that clearly and it came to the forefront with blinding hot strength. He held the smaller of the packages and then he pressed it to Caleb, a smile on his lips. ]

This.. I thought it would be very useful to us for situations in which we are apart, I hope that I am not talking liberties.

[ Underneath the pristine wrapping, of purple ribbon and tissue paper-- there was a set of carved little stones in the shape of cats, on them engraved, one with an E and then one with a C. Sending stones, tailored for them. They had sent messages to each other but they had been limited by spell slots whereas these stones did not need to be. They could talk all night if they wished. ]

I missed your voice very much, and I bought them because the messages were never enough for me-- I wanted to have those moments where it felt like we were laying in bed together, talking.

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb only knew that the longer he'd been away from Essek, the greater the ache in him for the other wizard was. He had to imagine that was what love felt like, like some part of himself was left with Essek when they were apart, and it left longing in its place. But all that longing and ache had dissipated the moment he'd seen that familiar face at their door.

He reached out to take the package, opening it carefully -- it was too well wrapped, too pretty to simply tear into, and Caleb Widogast was a conscientious, thoughtful little thing. Once he had it open, he traced a finger over the carved stones, taking in everything about them -- their shapes, the etched initials -- before looking up to Essek with a smile bright enough to rival the afternoon sun outside, dimmed by the curtains that he made sure were closed over their windows for Essek's arrival.]

These are wonderful.

[Almost breathless in his excitement over them. He held Essek's out to him, holding his own close to his chest.]

I've missed your voice too. This will make it easier, when we're not together. My heart will ache a little less.

[He pushed one of the packages he'd brought closer to Essek. It was vaguely oblong, though it looked as if its shape was held mostly by the wrapping. Inside was a scarf lovingly knitted with the burnt orange and brown palette of autumn.]

This is from Mutter. She said if I am to have a boyfriend, I must be sure to keep him warm.

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek watched with held breath as Caleb unwrapped his gift, and he glowed softly with pleasure when Caleb expressed his delight in such an effusive way-- and Essek was spellbound, he was so very spellbound by the beauty of Caleb's presence. The pale skin, the locks of red hair casually tied back, the freckles that kissed skin-- freckles that he wanted to kiss, ever. single. one. ]

I am glad that you love them. And now, I get to hear your voice when we are apart. Your voice is my favorite sound, you know.

[ He was beginning to understand that it was alright to express oneself, to not hide behind a facade. Such things he had learned from his family back at the Dynasty. But Caleb taught him to feel and not be frightened of those feelings. He reached out then to take the cat sending stone, his fingers closing around it, his fingers closing around Caleb's to give that hand a soft squeeze before he pulled away.

With precision though he took the package offered and he unwrapped it just as carefully. The holly and decorations were placed to the side so he could keep them, the paper could be used to write notes on, to Caleb. Once the twine was undone, his own exclamation of happiness came in the form of pulling up the warmly knit scarf, in colours that were his favorites. If anyone had asked what his favorite colour was? He would've said orange because it reminded him of Caleb. ]

It is perfect, I love it! [ He offered it to Caleb and murmured softly. ] Would it be acceptable to wear it now? Would you please loop it around my neck? [ Because Essek was going to do it anyways, wear the scarf ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Essek was not the only one spellbound. Caleb had been swept up in everything about the other wizard, the beautiful lavender of his skin, the color of the sky in the fairest moment of twilight, dusted with its own field of freckled white stars. They were day and night, in many ways, dawn and dusk, ever opposite but perfect counterpoints to one another.

Or maybe Caleb was just feeling poetic because he was an absolute fool in love who had missed his boyfriend. He could feel the start of a blush as Essek spoke.]

It will be easier to fall asleep after hearing your voice.

[Not quite as easy as falling asleep in Essek's arms, but still. Much better.

He watched as Essek opened his package, beaming all the more at his reaction.]

Of course, if you want. [He took the scarf from him and settled it around the other wizard's neck, smoothing it out down along his chest.] There. Perfect. It brings out the bit of gold in your eyes.

[zauberdecke]

[ Essek ducked his head softly as Caleb wound the scarf around his shoulders, it smelled of fir trees and warmth, it represented family and hope, mugs of Cidar that Una made them on cold winter weekends when both Caleb and Essek would make their way to Blumenthal to visit. Of hugs that Una gave him, hugs that he had at first been unused to but had eventually come to crave because he did not get those at home. He flushed and it had absolutely nothing to do with anything related to a chill. The two of them, nlused out from their emotions and their feels. ]

Well we will be able to sleep together tonight-- [ Essek would insist upon it. ]

This next present.. ah..

[ It was more unertain, it was very personal, especially for a wizard and perhaps even more presumptuous. It was not something that another wizard would likely accept.. if they were older. However, Essek picked it up and settled it gently on Caleb's lap. A piece of hair falling in his own eye. ]

If you do not like this.. I will understand.

[ It held a firm weight to it, and when Caleb unwrapped it.. he would find a leather bound grimoire. A beautiful creation of a spell book with a sun etched on it as well as a moon-- worked together so that they twinned. The colours were like sunset with little stars going around the peripherial.

When Caleb opened up the book, on a little nameplate, etched softly, 'this grimoire belongs to Essek Thelyss &' and then a little blank after it where Caleb could put in his own name. ]

It's a.. ah.. shared spellbook.

[ Essek was hasty to add ] I thought that we could work on some spells of our own, and then write the finished product in this book.. together.

[ausgebrannt]

[Una had claimed Essek as one of her own the moment Caleb had brought him home for the first time. Caleb's father had as well, even if his manner was slightly less overt with affection than Una's was. Caleb, however, at least where Essek was concerned, took after his mother. Especially since that first kiss on that sun-soaked afternoon in the shade of their favorite tree, well, physical contact was a part of how he communicated affection. So Essek was target of much of that.

The redhead smiled at the assurance that they would share a bed tonight. Good. That was where he wanted to be, curled up together with Essek so that he could feel the gentle rise and fall of each breath.

Caleb took the next package with the same care in unwrapping it, finding himself looking at the book in undisguised awe. It was beautiful, in craftsmanship alone. When he opened it and found that little nameplate though, his heart flipped over itself in his chest before he looked up at Essek once more as the other boy explained.]

I love it. I love everything about it. [He set the book down carefully, reverently, and more or less tackled Essek back to the bed, arms around him.]

[zauberdecke]

[ Oh how Essek been so worried about of Caleb would like it; his heart thudded in his chest with tense anticipation for how Caleb would like it. And that anticipation was nearly painful. Oh how his breath released though as Caleb made his pleasure known-- that he loved it. He was about ready to say something, to respond, when he was tackled back by his redheaded boyfriend, he went back.

If he had wanted to, he could've stood his ground and used gravity to keep him upright. But he did not want to, he wanted to be pulled down into the chaos of feelings that was Caleb Widogast, and so he went backward. Locks of hair all over the bedclothes while he looked up at his boyfriend fondly ]

I love you.. very much.

[ He murmured as he looked up at Caleb; his voice quiet and tentative. But for all the quietude, it was not a question, only a statement. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb knew full well that Essek's talent at gravity meant that he wasn't in danger of actually squashing the smaller teen -- not that Caleb was all that much bigger in any case -- as they settled on the bed. He was still beaming down at him when Essek went and spoke those words.

Oh. That. That was.]

That was what I was going to say.

[Caleb informed him, leaning close to nuzzle his nose against Essek's.]

I love you too. So much.

[The words were soft, barely a whisper before Caleb claimed those lips in a kiss.]

[zauberdecke]

Caleb...

[ Essek whispered before his lips were caught, soft and warm. His fingers moved up to cup those cheeks as he succumbed to the sweetness of the kiss; and the words behind it. Regard that Caleb felt for him, communicated through common. The flow of feeling through him was powerful and he would always remember it, remember the way that Caleb looked down at him as if he was the world. Would always remember how his world became complete in this moment.

His eyes slid closed as he gave himself to the feelings of his zemnian boyfriend, the weight of him-- the lower subtle taste, the elation of knowing that Caleb 'loved' him. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[They'd finally spoken the words out loud, words that had been in Caleb's heart for a while now, that were rejoicing at finally being set loose in this world, and being returned. He'd never been in love before, and it was overwhelming in the best way, like he was swept up in a river and the only stable thing around him to hold to was Essek.

So he held him, lingering against his lips. Oh he'd missed these lips, missed the taste of him, the soft icy floral scent that seemed to always cling to the Drow. There was still a gift to open, one from him rather than from his mother, but it would have to wait for a moment.

Essek loved him. Nothing had ever mattered more in his life. He was sure nothing ever would.]

[zauberdecke]

[ This moment was soft, it was tender and vital.

It was necessary, and in between kisses-- his eyes fluttered, as if he could not help but look up at the other guy as he pressed lips to lips, though each time Caleb touched down, his eyes closed, as his heart quivered in his throat in that affect that his boyfriend had on him.

And with each kiss, a sheen of plum that filled his cheeks further; perhaps even a tender bite of teeth against lower lip as if his own love could not be contained behind hearts and walls now that they had revealed to each other. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb was absolutely weak to each and every touch, to one kiss bleeding into the next. He could lose himself in Essek -- had lost himself this way before, and always managed to find himself in the other wizard as well. After all Essek was the one who held his heart, had even before that first tentative, nervous kiss that they had shared.

His breath caught at the feeling of those teeth, and Caleb realized that he was very quickly going to be carried away by all of this, which was well and good and he could see no objection to it save one.]

There's... still a present from me.

[zauberdecke]

[ He had forgotten about presents, the only one that he felt mattered was the lips raining down on his own and robbing him of breath. Essek did not need lungs, surely he could breath in other ways-- ways that involved something other than the removal of lips. However, he knew that Caleb did not want to be carried away yet-- and so he pressed a firm and soft kiss to those flushed lips and then his eyes, glowing, regarded Caleb.

Love radiating fron evey pore that he possessed under skin before finally he attempted to struggle his way up-- though he would need Caleb's help to make it seamless. ]

Another present, after a wealth of kisses? You spoil me, Chathiu

[ and then there was the soft kiss of mouth right against forehead, a testament to his care and devotion for the other guy; overflowing and blissfully happy. And it was so easy to believe that he could be happy like this forever, he felt sure that it was attainable. ]

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb was not done with kissing at all. But he did want to give Essek this other gift. He'd spent quite some time saving up enough money for it, and he was more than a little proud of it -- and hoped that Essek would like it. He wanted to make the other wizard happy. The way Essek smiled was absolutely stunning, and it had been such a rare thing when they had first met. Then bit by bit, he had seen Essek thaw, to melting and oh it was the most beautiful thing that he had ever known.

He could feel his heart start fluttering all over again at those lips to his forehead. This was love, and why wouldn't they keep this forever? Happy together, like this, for the rest of their days.]

It was your birthday, Liebling.

[Sitting back, he reached out to take Essek's hand, to help him come back to sitting as well. This time though, Caleb settled in beside the Drow. He handed the next package to him, similarly wrapped as the first one in brown paper and greenery.

Inside was a small leather bag, the leather itself etched in a design of constellations. It was clearly a pouch for spell components, but when opened Essek will find that it's been spelled into an extra-dimensional space. A component pouch of holding.]

I think it will be useful at least, for you.

being a Capricorn in three acts. holidays overshadowing birthday.

[zauberdecke]

[ Those smiles became more and more because of Caleb, because of the warmth that the other wizard brought to him; Essek would've done anything for the other student and it showed. So very carefully he opened the package, a statement wants to fall from his mouth that his birthday had never been made a big deal of, considering that it fell within the scope of Kryn Religious Holidays.

It touched Essek though that Caleb always remembered his birthday like this.

Once he saw the components pouch, his breath caught. It was the most beautiful worked bag he'd ever seen; the leather smelled new and fresh, the workings of stars within it and as his fingers tenderly pulled the drawstring, the magic within hit him upon opening. There was so much more room in here, it would be plenty for anything he bought. ]

It is beautiful.. [ And Essek recognized that it was dear; probably had cost him much and thus he would accept it; in Drow culture- it was unpardonably rude to say things such as 'you shouldn't have' or 'I couldn't possibly accept'. This pouch would be used and would be loved. ]

Thank you, Caleb Widogast. I love it, and I love you.

[ He leaned in to brush a kiss to Caleb's jawline, soft and gentle ]

However, the greatest gift that I ever received remains you, yes? My beautiful Zemnian boyfriend.

[ausgebrannt]

[Caleb watched, waiting, before something in him relaxed at Essek's words. Good. He wanted him to like it. He wanted it to be something that Essek would use often, something that might make the other wizard think of him sometimes when he saw it. So there was no stopping the smile at the thanks.

No stopping the way it widened at those remarkable wonderful new words. I love you. He would never get tired of those words from those perfect, sweet lips. Ever.]

I love you too.

[He turned towards him, wrapping his arms around the other teen once more and urging him into his lap which -- in Caleb's opinion -- was where Essek belonged far more often. Now that gifts were given, they could get back to the important matter of kissing each other breathless.]

You are a sweet talker today. But it is the same for me, so I will believe it. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, my treasure.

[zauberdecke]

[ his arms wrapped around Caleb's shoulders as he allowed himself to be pulled onto Caleb's lap, resting his cheek against the top of those ginger waves. There was such a beautiful give and take and he let his fingers twine through those fragrant locks in an act of such unmitigated intimacy. His mother would have been scandalized by the fingers in hair-- but he had been doing it secretly-- and he had been touching that hair long before they had kissed like it was some hidden little act of sin just for him.

And he did not care.

Honestly, with the Dynasty, it was irrelevant in all aspects of the word; he felt other to them now as if this Zemnian guy was his tether to a life different than the one they had plotted out for him. For Caleb, he would go against the grain, would fight to stay here for as long as Caleb wanted him. ]

Usually when you tug me onto your lap, it means one thing Herr Widogast..

[ He teased, and oh what a beautiful thing to have the freedom to do so. Such a far cry from the young boy of years ago who was unused to teasing her jokes- so quiet and with eyes far bigger than their face. That boy that Una had taken an instant nurturing instinct toward-- the boy who had clung to Caleb's hand as if overstimulated quiet.

Turning into the young man with the fond smile who was devoted to Caleb Widogast irrevocably ]

[ausgebrannt]

Oh? Have you picked up on that pattern, Essek Thelyss?

[Caleb teased right back, a playful expression on his face, freckled nose wrinkled for a moment. But Essek was, of course, right. Caleb was not a subtle soul in this, and his hands settled at Essek's sides, running up slowly before wrapping around to his back to urge him closer.

That way that he could lean up to kiss at Essek's chin, the corner of his mouth and then those lips proper.

He loved the playful side of the Drow that had slowly been unearthed in the years that they had known each other, seeing Essek slowly blossom from that shell. And Caleb was truly greedy for each newly revealed piece of the other wizard, each new facet somehow more precious, more beautiful than the last.]

We have days before class begins, Liebling. So much time to ourselves. And so much missed time to make up for.

[zauberdecke]

[ It was Caleb, it was always Caleb who brought out this airy frivolousness in him. He was still serious to a fault, especially in classes where he was one hundred percent focused on his schoolwork though a smile could be coaxed from his lips from his wizard, only his wizard. Outside of the acadamy; he was also content to stick close to Widogast's side, robes worn a bit longer to obscure those handholds-- even if it were only the linking of pinkies to establish at least one point of contact.

He smiled against those lips while he adjusted himself to straddle those hips. He also knew that if he leaned forward- he could easily topple Caleb back onto the bed and the way was clear as they had pushed their gifts to an unoccupied part of his ginger wizard's bed. Of course, it was a bed that Essek had fallen into trance in more often then not over the course of the year.

Even though their relationship was not a year old, he'd found himself succumbing to those intimacies that made a kiss nearly natural and inevitable. ]

We do have much to make up for-- because if we factor in that we kiss at least 10 times a day, and we have been apart for approximately 10 days.. [ it seemed like much longer ] Deductive reasoning dictates that we have at least 100 kisses to make up for, and then we have an accrual of interest to factor in as well.

[ He leaned down to lightly take Caleb's lower lip between his teeth and gave it a light tug ]

We have four days before classes start-- do you think that will be enough time? We will have 40 kisses to add onto that, so we shall have to clear 140 kisses to start anew on the fifth day..

[ausgebrannt]

[Essek had awoken something in Caleb as well, something that blossomed only for Essek Thelyss, a softness and a tenderness -- and a strong surge of protectiveness. This quiet, serious, brilliant wizard, Caleb would do anything to see him happy, to stay with him. So there was something entirely rewarding as Essek straddled his lap and leaned into that kiss.

And since gravity already had its eyes on him, Valeb gave into it, falling back towards the bed, arms around Essek to draw him down along with him, on top of him.]

Has it really only been ten days?

[Caleb mused while Essek did all the math. His smile widened as the other teen continued, leaning up to kiss him at the end of that last sum.]

We should aim higher, Liebling, to make sure we have a surplus banked for any future times apart.

[He teased gently, leaning up to catch Essek's lips again and again as if he was putting those words to action.]